Well glad that peice of crap is over....

Yup talking about the weekend. Got stuff done, but really it wasn't the funnest weekend. The highlight of my weekend consisted of seeing a really really good friend I haven't seen in years. I don't know how we do it, but every time we see eachother we talk and talk and talk....I hope he stays in my life. He was a great guy friend and still is. Just hope he finds some clarity where he is.

• What sucked about this weekend....ever realize that the person you live with is completely different than you thought? We're all different, but sometimes you go huh??? Well it all began with one of those shockers like "who are you?" i thought you were this way and now i just find out you're that way? Anyway, we didn't spend much time with each other all weekend and counseling sort of pissed me off. I get that this professional looks at us and sees something based on what we tell him, but at the same time he only sees that. I get so friggin emotional there I just want to run out. I no longer feel safe in there and it ruins my day.  Can't really say, I don't want counseling anymore since I started it, right? It's not working-the point of counseling is to use the tools you learn in real life. Let me tell ya, it's not happening. Our communication is worse than ever and I'm losing patience with him.  Let's just say we had a "cart" issue at Home Depot and I ended up saying FUCK YOU to him. Not that I'm proud of it, but he friggin asked for it. I apologized later for not using my words, and he accepted my apology-once again though he can't see his part in anything. This counseling thing isn't teaching us much if we don't use what we learn and all the while it's costing us money. 
• Where else am I supposed to go to talk about this crap? I have friends with their own relationship issues or they're married and they have bigger issues than this. Do you know I tried texting him to ask him about vacation and he didn't respond? Yup who's the baby this morning. oh well, request sent off. According to our therapist we are separate people who need to learn how to live together and not depend or rely on eachother too much..i think that's the jist. Well I just made my vacation request without his input. He can take vacation whenever he wants. I've got mine in the books.
• ok on to less dramatic and personal shit...here's a great thing to do if you're in San Francisco SF Reality Rush  the coolest things keep happening but i don't have the friends or the fundage to do them.
•  Happy Columbus Day. today you'll find lots of sales online. here's one brought to you by forever 21
•  i don't want to talk about my smoking this weekend. I don't deserve a medal. I will do better this week.....
• Don't you just love reading all of this unhappy shit to start the week? Think about how I felt all weekend. 
• Lucky for me the one thing that really makes me happy is furry and loves to do stuff with me. 
• OH i did see a puppy that i really loved. He didn't have back feet. He had legs, but no feet. We just couldn't do it.  Our house is too small and really I would be walking two dogs and handling two dogs ALL the time. Bella did well with the pup, which made me feel better. I don't know if I could ever really have 2 dogs without humanizing this whole thing. I'd feel guilt for taking my attention off of Bella and yadda yadda. 
• Tell me this song wasn't meant for me...I love romance, sentimental words and the like. This song warms my heart and I dunno why but I always imagine Adam Levine singing to me..hahaha. i'm 10..really i am...

ok...i'm going now, because I should be making you happy not making you all feel crappy...all 3 of you who read my blog.....