Thursday, October 20, 2011

Coffee and Ativan soothe the nerves.

Well had my coffee, realized that my stupid boyfriend never read the email i sent him YESTERDAY about our therapist and got into HIGH anxiety mode. Also started stressing out about having to tell my boss that I have an appt tomorrow at 8am. yup 8 am. I had to get the earliest appointment for therapy that I possibly could because I feel like i'm working for nazi's all of a sudden. I will not get into the whole vacation schedule thing. Sent me beyond ticked. Anyway I had to take an ativan. I notice when I get stressed out, my muscles tense and my back winds up paying for it. So deep breaths, ignore stupidity, realize that I lead my own life and I will not depend on others to make me happy. Tell that to my bank account. Just spent my whole check on two bills. back to square one. Anyone think that the light bulb in the boyfriend brain will go off and he will realize that he needs to spend money this month on the things we need like GROCERIES, DOG TREATS, BONES etc....BREATHE!!!!! I'd love to see what my blood pressure is right now.
  • ok did a little breathing technique and i think i'm ok...
  • tell me this baby elephant isn't the cutest thing...

 I'd be freakin out too if i realized my nose was like a 5th leg.
  • Random I know, but you know that song by Selena Gomez-I love you like a love song can actually fit "i love you like a fat kid loves cake." it works. i sang it over and over this morning. Made me smile. :)
  • now i'm officially sleepy. sigh. Haven't been able to do the pie or turnover thing, because I've been asking Gerry to help me, but he's been too busy. I hate coring and peeling apples, especially like 8 of them...bleh. So it will have to wait. ONE DAY my friends. 
  • I just got props for the times i'm not smoking!!! which made me smile! I need that encouragement! My friend Jessi told me to not be too hard on myself. It's really hard not to smoke on breaks or after I eat or when i'm pissed off. lol. I think that's a problem right now. I'm pissed off about a lot of things and I want to smoke all of the time. I am pretty sure smoking and emotions are related.
  •  Here are some things that will make me smile and for sure it will make you smile:

  •  Rangers! what the heck happened last night? Rock it tonight, Ok??? MLB updates! check the baseball almanac -nice long list of all the world series! 
  • I am eating a hot pocket. its' not bad. wish it was a healthier lunch.

    Ok i must go...have a good thursday!

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