Friday, June 29, 2012

A sense of renewed vitality.

I've been a bit humdrum for the last couple of weeks; happy yet bored....but yesterday I received some good news, which I can't share just yet. I'll share in a week or so, once it's official. But trust me it's good news. 

I also woke up feeling better and less stiff. I think it was the Ativan i took last night. I'm not sure about other Fibro patients, but I fight taking medications. I fear relying on them daily and would just like to feel like I do today without them, but who am i kidding, things aren't going to change. I felt like i was getting the flu yesterday. My bones ached. My joints were stiffening. My muscles were tired yet stiff. I said "fuck it, i'm not weak. I just need some help" and swallowed my little blue pill. Now here i am at my desk, feeling a lot less stiff. So, I just have to swallow my pride and say "fuck it" sometimes.

So what are everyone's weekend plans????
Not sure about my own plans. But i'm thinking of relaxing and waxing. Yes waxing. I'll add that i'm only waxing my eyebrows. Trust me most people have no idea how their eyebrows should really look until they get them waxed and shaped by a professional. 
Also I was thinking of maybe grabbing a girlfriend and coaxing her to come with me to Barnes and Noble. I want the new Augusten Burroughs book.
I own all of his books and no not on my tablet. I actually own the real thing and I couldn't complete my library with an Ebook, so i need to buy it. (mixed reviews, but i don't care)

by the way, David Sedaris, where's your new book....i miss your shit.

Hoping that we get that drive i was talking about earlier. It would be awesome. *insert smile here*

Last nights Dinner!
Because I love giving ideas for dinner and since i'm on this diet. I'll give you an idea of what i ate yesterday during the day first: string cheese, coffee, spring mix salad with leftover flat iron steak and carrots and my snack was some oatmeal. Dinner complimented itself nicely. Beddar with cheddar bratwurst and one potato with butter, garlic, cheese and a dollop of sour cream. My tummy was happy.  The amount of calories was about 1200 for the whole day. Everything was delicious. Tonight though, i'm crossing my fingers to go to Off the Grid...i haven't been in a while...keep trying my calorie intake will be a bit high...sometimes you just have to splurge. :)

I live in Marin...I just read this article about a neighbor buying a house next to theirs just to tear it down...People in this area know how to waste their money. You have 4 million bucks to waste, I've got an idea. Give a million to our schools, a million to the shelters in the area, a million to help the homeless and another million to charities helping the environment, you idiot. Seriously,  you needed a view that bad? You couldn't think of another way to use 4 million dollar?. People like you make me sick. 

Ugh i have such a bad taste in my mouth after reading that ridiculousness. This is why I'm not a big fan of the human race; filled with idiots this race is....(yoda speak)

Alrighty all, have a great weekend and be safe!!!! hugs and doves.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Yay for Health Care Reform...

Look I don't know much about the health care reform law, except it helps EVERYONE get health insurance. I hope they can iron out all the bugs and create something for everyone. I know too many people who cannot afford insurance in this country and it's a crock of shit. The idea is awesome, let's figure out how to make it better. People shouldn't have to go broke because they had to go to the emergency room. Plus, preventative care keeps people at work, making money and shopping which equals to feeding the economy money for stuff.  Anyway, i'm excited. And very happy for those who can finally get the help they need.

ok enough of my opinions!!

I weighed myself this morning.  I will share with you my weight-139. I've lost 6 lbs. I've also been eating about 1200 calories a day, but taking a walk as well with my pup for about 25 minutes which only burns about 96 calories, but then it adds to the amount of calories i can eat, so then it becomes 1296 calories...are you with me? Anyway, i've been doing really well. If i'm hungry in the morning a piece of toast with butter is about 150 calories, coffee 42, lunch about 265 and dinner...well that's where it gets tricky. Planning nighttime meals can be a pain,  but really it's about what you're shoving in your mouth. Potatoes, veggies, meat, bread, salad...well all that can add up and blow any diet. So keep it simple. A yummy steak and a salad with a balsamic dressing. yummy. or like last nights meal. We had a flat iron grilled steak seasoned with A1 and pepper,  and caprese garlic bread that looked so pretty and tasted amazing. 685 calories people...and i even had a snack before bedtime. MMMM string cheese! I never thought that counting calories worked. I never wanted to become someone who depended on it, but i realized I definitely over ate at meal times, rather than eating enough to satisfy the belly. OH and if your tummy starts grumbling eat something, drink water. Do not go into starvation mode. has helped me bunches!!!

found here read, funny page.

Can Anyone Explain why classics are free on kindle, amazon, kobo etc....? They're classics for golly's diaper's sake.

Blogs I'm reading:
Cake Wrecks check it out...pretty funny.
Dogs on Drugs- ok this one is a good one folks. Fast food in other countries. Remember my pic of the Chicken Maharaja Mac I wanted to try, well he covers a lot of other strange ideas the fast food companies in different countries came up ch check it. 
texts from a dog-if you're not reading this, you are lamay. (lame in fake french)
one odd duck-i really like the idea on here...i think i may copy and post it somewhere..check it out to see what i'm talking about.
Vixen Vintage-in love with this blog. she's so cute, her clothes and outfits are adorable. I wish i had some of the items in her closet.

Alrighty I'm going to leave you with a pic of my foot and hand. The ring I got from Hautelook and the shoes (which are my new favorites) i got from Ideeli! 
have a great day!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Blogger's Block.

Ok, maybe not blogger block exactly, it's more like i'm thinking about all these other things and my goofy nature isn't allowed to step out and shine. This week i've felt a little more pain in my body, which reminds me how much i hate fibro more and more. I am trying not to think about it, but it's always in the back of my head and i KNOW it makes it worse; like pressing on one of those pimples that hasn't hit the surface just yet, but hurts like a bitch. yeah...Well, I'm thinking this whole Fibro thing is made worse by stress and tension and i just keep feeding into it, so somehow i have to stop or at least find a way to relax....on command.

As you may very well be able to tell, one of my main goals in life is to be happy. There's too much pain in my past and in my body, so I put a lot of stress in trying to maintain a happy and healthy life now. Does that even make any sense??? I really should just take up smoking opium or something. Can you believe that...I put stress on happiness? I am ridiculous. I do know what makes me happy and it's unfortunate that such things require stress. 

I got an idea....
found on someone else's blog...go check his blog out.
Gerr and I should pack a lunch, grab Bella and take a drive. We used to do that a lot. Sometimes it was all about finding a surf spot, but my favorite times were the days the surf sucked. lol. It was nice to just GO.  Maybe I need to remember the simple happy joys of life. Sure checking SF funcheap for the other stuff is cool, but getting back to the simple, happy things that made life peaceful, well that's just a different story.  Hmmm...

This is me, Gerr took this picture at Ocean Beach in SF like 3 1/2 years ago. :)

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

When you have nothing better to write about...

just find random things all over the web to keep you (my wise and lovely readers) entertained.

Off of the top of my you go:

Other uses for ladders-think link is pretty neat. is a pretty cool place and gives you neat ideas on how to decorate small living spaces. tell me that doesn't look neat.
 some more ideas at

Because this is my blog and i feel like it...
mmm Jeter...

ok so my blog lacks real substance today, but i'm not sure what to write about. I could tell you:
  • I'm going to make pesto for dinner with italian chicken.
  •  So far today is slower than a turtle with a flat tire, that is if its' limbs were tires.
  • I would rather be reading a book right now.
  • I always wanted to write a book, but i get the worst writer's block and i have no idea what i want to write about now. When i was younger i loved to write short stories. Maybe that urge will come back.
  • I like to play an awesome air guitar when no one is watching. SHHHH don't tell anyone.
  • I am actually a singer. I was seen in a band once on TV, and we had CD's. We even made a music video, not for MTV or anything, but for us.
Alright hearts and farts, i gotta boogie. Have a great day! 

Monday, June 25, 2012

Are there any wild cows left in the world?

Gerr and I were driving home from the car show yesterday and the drive is actually lovely, even if it's on a freeway. Lots of rolling hills and cows artistically placed munching the grass. I got to thinking about cows and the fact that in the U.S. we don't have cows roaming around being cows. Like, let's say a chicken, there are wild chickens; not every chicken turns into an egg machine or a KFC meal; cows are destined to be milk producers and hamburger. They don't do anything else. It's like we took this calm animal and strictly made it a food source. We robbed it of it's freedom to be an animal and live and die like foxes or wolves etc....

It's a really sad thought, isn't it? I know, not really the thing you want to read first thing in the morning, but I had to release it into the world.  This animal will never be extinct, because we'll keep on breeding them for a life of creating dairy and then dying for food. Here is where I'll add that I do eat meat.  I wish I didn't have to. I, actually, do not eat as much meat as I should.  I have low iron storage and iron pills alone (2 a day and a multivitamin with MORE iron) don't do shit. When i feel shaky I eat meat and I feel much better. I know we probably can't live without meat, but I also don't feel it's right to do this to an animal either. At some point, because we're humans and we mess shit up a lot, something bad is going to happen. Madcow disease X a million. (i'm not the only one asking these questions-i googled it and found several people had asked this same question. I'm glad i'm not the only one who notices.)

Alright lets lift the spirits's about a livingsocial deal for real MINK eyelash extensions? yeah...what the fuck?

I guess i'm sounding a little low today, but I'm not. I'm actually glad to be at work. My weekend was alright, nothing awesome or anything (i really can't expect for every weekend to be filled with awesomeness), but I did relax and read a lot. So, my brain was getting some exercise. I did watch more than a normal person's fair share of movies, though. I can't remember any of them right now. lol

Also in other Random News: I've lost 6 lbs!

Anyone else a fan of the new HBO series Girls?  I really like it. It wasn't on last night and i was fuurrrreaking out that maybe it was cancelled, but shrug, i dunno, maybe i forgot what night it's supposed to be i'm hoping i can watch it some time this week.
I got a comment the other day asking  how do you protect yourself from someone stealing your content online....I don't really know how to answer that.  I try my best to just write what's going on with me, I may think it's interesting but somehow i doubt it's interesting to everyone, if someone stole an idea or something, i would definitely think "That person is not very nice and i hope they open their car window one day and a monkey goes ape shit on their asses." But alas, how do you control that (not the monkey, but someone taking your written content)?  If anyone has suggestions, please leave them in the comments section. I'm sure she would love to read them.

Have a wonderful day wittle monkey butts!

Friday, June 22, 2012

The Container Store, cupcakes and living social deals.

I love Living Social. If it weren't for them, i wouldn't be able to go out as much as I'd like. Personally, I feel depressed if all i did was stay home and stare at the TV every friggin night, so I need to be able to enjoy myself and break the monotony of the work week. Livingsocial, groupon, google offers, bloomspot, etc..they all help with that. So if you haven't signed up yet (it's free so you'd be silly if you didn't do it) go and do it now.

Yesterday we went to Baja Fresh. It was good. I had the carnitas burrito (a little flavorless) but they have some pretty good salsas so i used it to make a more tastier burrito. Also, try their Mango salsa. I thought i was going to hate it, but it was really good. 2 Drinks, chips and salsa for two and 2 burritos for $10.57. Ok so the deal I bought was for $9, but for some strange reason, after we ordered they told us to pay tax. Whatever,  $10.57 is better than 20 something.. All in all, it was ok. I may eat there again.

Baja Fresh is located in this very posh, outdoor Mall and it's always pretty empty.  Gerr wanted to go the the Container Store, but as soon I saw the Teacake cupcake shop, i ran in. I chose the buttercream frosted chocolate cupcake. Gerr got the pink velvet whoopie pie with cheesecake frosting. Neither one of us was impressed with the 9 bucks spent on our sweets.  The cupcake was ok, but if you're going to have a shop it better be out of this world. I'll give them another try.....I think i'll try the cupcake truck tonight at "Off the Grid." If you have a Safeway by you, try their red velvet cupcake, i know it's just a supermarket, but WOW.....and their cupcakes are only $1.99!

I interrupt this regularly scheduled program to inform all of you that:

I got accepted into the chronic pain program!!!!!
hallefrigginluya. :)

I hate the Container Store. I don't understand why people go there and feel like they're getting a DEAL?  I find that everything is over priced. A White box with holes in it was 14 bucks. I'd pay 5. I really don't understand the appeal. Personally, I'll go to Ross if i need a plastic bin, a desk organizer, a garbage can etc...I feared we were going to be kicked out because I kept looking at a price and announcing "HIGHWAY ROBBERY", "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?", "WHO WOULD PAY 25 BUCKS FOR THAT?". Lucky for us we made it out safely. Gerr actually purchased one item; a vial for 1.29.

I'm hoping today flies by. I woke up this morning thinking it was Saturday. I hate that crashing disappointment when you look at your alarm and you realize it's a weekday and not the weekend. BOOOOO. Alrighty all, I will let you go. Have a safe weekend. Lot's of hugs, J

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Nascar or a VW show?

Really people, these are my choices for ONE day off with my boyfriend and these are the choices he's giving me. I wanted to throw a shoe directly at his head and say NO.  Sure, there aren't very many VW shows in the area and he deserves to have me go with him on a Gerry "thing".  I better get some Off the Grid tomorrow night. I didn't want to tell him that the Woodies Classic in Santa Cruz was on Saturday, good thing he's working. *insert evil cackle here.

This weekend there's a lot of stuff going on in the city of San Francisco. One of them being Pride! So all sorts of marches, musical performances, parades etc....I hope to go. It's probably insane trying to find a parking spot though. LOL. San Francisco isn't too kind to people trying to find parking. We've also got Brass Tax Party 2012. That sounds like fun too. DJ's, "interesting art cars" and a bouncy house at Golden Gate Park. Vans Warped Tour...i just rechecked the bands and i'm sad i'm not going....The flashmob i wanted to be in: Lady Gaga is performing this weekend too. I learned the first dance then i got all achey thanks to Fibro....dammit...I wanted to see that one too. ooh the Treasure Island Flea market! As you know by now, you can visit SF Funcheap to find out what's going on in the Bay Area. oh well, i guess i'm going to the car show on Sunday.

I want to have a Wiener Party.  That's a HOT DOG Party, you dirty minded individuals. I got this email yesterday from Epicurious and it was an AWESOME idea. Think all sorts of hot dogs, sausages etc...and then like 15 toppings! Wouldn't that be fun? It was either that or a tea party and I don't think the guys I know would really attend that. When I told Gerry about my idea at the supermarket check out line last night the guy behind us laughed...i had to explain my idea and then it all sounded delicious to those around us. Man, people have such dirty minds....
Hotdogs are like America's staple food.
 Alright, i think my allergies are attacking my concentration. I will chat with y'all later. Have a wonderful day.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Pee Fright?

So yesterday's pain interview went really well. Each doctor said I would benefit from the program! Yipeeeee! One of the things I had to do was go and pee into a cup. Easy Shmeezy. They're probably weeding out the drug users and you know what people I'm squeaky clean. So I went to the bathroom, I had been drinking water since I got to the interview and didn't think anything of it....until I tried peeing.  All I expelled from my body was a trickle of fluid.  I looked through my plastic cup and that's when I got nervous. I felt my heart start to throb in my chest and freaked out. I put the lid on my cup, walked out of the bathroom and found the closest water fountain. I filled my bottle with water and began to chug, not once but twice.  I ran to the bathroom again hoping that would stir something up in my bladder and once again all i got was a tiny trickle. WTF? I was now bloated too, but still no pee. I put the container in the swivel thingy in the bathroom and said fuck it. if they need me to do it again I will.  I haven't had a pee test in years, normally i get blood taken out and that's simple (I guess, although I really hate needles). I would like to add that 2 hours later, I was peeing every 5 minutes.

Happy First Day of Summer Everyone!!!

How many people listen to the radio??? Raise your hands? Ok, put them down...Anyone heard the commercial about taking a trip to Taiwan? I feel like i'm being convinced to go somewhere I don't want to go. Like I'm being hypnotized. I listen to the commercial and part of me is like "yessss, i should go to Taiwan..." and then I have to smack myself and say, "Why the hell do you want to go to Taiwan? You can't even speak Chinese?(mandarin, cantonese...whatever)" I think there's something going on with that commercial....something eeeerie.

Someone please tell me how to stop FB notifications on my phone AND email notifications. I DO NOT need to know when someone emails me or has commented on the same thread on facebook. My phone doesn't doesn't. By the way I have an Android.

For your viewing pleasure, here's Bella!

have a wonderful day everyone.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

It's happening so fast!

Yesterday I got a call from the chronic pain program. Someone cancelled their appointment today and they asked if I could come in. I said yes of course! My original appointment was made for sometime in July, so the sooner the better right? Well, I'm nervous. I really need this program. I don't want to be on meds for the rest of my life for pain.  The elavil has really alleviated some of my tension and pain, but it's only been a month! What if it wears off???? What if i'm back to where I was and it hurts to do anything? I find myself here and there with random aches and pains and get all depressed that I can feel it. I get scared, the fibro is peeking through and trying to harm me.

 I hate Fibro. I really, really do. I don't understand it, but I'm glad that i know what i have. It's  better than being told "oh it's just your back" "you have scoliosis" bla bla bla...People must  have thought i was crazy when i was telling them my arm hurt, my knees hurt, my foot randomly hurt, my neck, my hands...etc...I felt like my body was trying to kill me. Honestly, that's what i thought was happening.

I get that some people don't understand what I'm going through. Some people don't understand Fibromyalgia. People who have known me for a while and witnessed my back pain and anything else are still confused because they thought it was just a back problem. Me too...that's what i thought too. But it always felt like more. And this year I think it really became more. Somehow everything got magnified, such as anxiety and pain.

Well here are some links and some facts about Fibromyalgia. I know it's hard for people to understand what a person with Fibromyalgia is going through, but as I believe, through education we can all understand better and be more sympathetic to those going through this annoying and sometimes debilitating disorder.

The following is from Pubmedhealth


Pain in the main symptom of fibromyalgia. It may be mild to severe.
  • Painful areas are called tender points. Tender points are found in the soft tissue on the back of the neck, shoulders, chest, lower back, hips, shins, elbows, and knees. The pain then spreads out from these areas.
  • The pain may feel like a deep ache, or a shooting, burning pain.
  • The joints are not affected, although the pain may feel like it is coming from the joints.
People with fibromyalgia tend to wake up with body aches and stiffness. For some patients, pain improves during the day and gets worse at night. Some patients have pain all day long.
Pain may get worse with activity, cold or damp weather, anxiety, and stress.
Fatigue, depressed mood, and sleep problems are seen in almost all patients with fibromyalgia. Many say that they can't get to sleep or stay asleep, and they feel tired when they wake up.
Other symptoms of fibromyalgia may include:
  • Irritable bowel syndrome (IBS)
  • Memory and concentration problems
  • Numbness and tingling in hands and feet
  • Palpitations
  • Reduced ability to exercise
  • Tension or migraine headaches

     The following is from the MayoClinic


    By Mayo Clinic staff
    Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.
    Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.
    Women are much more likely to develop fibromyalgia than are men. Many people who have fibromyalgia also have tension headaches, temporomandibular joint (TMJ) disorders, irritable bowel syndrome, anxiety and depression.
    While there is no cure for fibromyalgia, a variety of medications can help control symptoms. Exercise, relaxation and stress-reduction measures also may help. 

     For More information than i can actually cover in this blog, please visit the National Fibromyalgia Association's website

     Well, wish me luck. I'll be leaving about noonish to check on Bella and give her some hugs before my appointment at 1 pm. I have a little headache, poo...I hope you all have a great day! hugs and stuff.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Thank God it's Monday.....

Yes i said probably never thought i'd say that since I'm always counting down until Friday, that and a lot of my monday blogs are about how they are eviller than Satan. Hey "eviller" is a word...WORD.

Remember how i'm not a big fan of Father's Day....well yesterday for me sucked even more so, because I had no distractions and cable TV was not helping matters.  It was also like 900 degrees outside so you had to keep still in order to cool yourself down. Ok, really it wasn't 900 degrees, maybe it was 400, because Saturday was like a thousand degrees outside. OH and I got two tickets this weekend...which is embarrassing, because i'm little miss follow the parking laws. So Hi Monday, pleased to meet ya, I will try to be nicer to you, but don't hold your breath because Monday's typically do suck.

This weekend I also joined the Smart Phone Party.  Yes, i grew up and got a smart phone, which let me just say is a smaller version of my tablet. It's ok, but now i am just wondering why i couldn't use my tablet as a phone. Shrug...anyway it's cute and takes really good pictures. Which I can't share with you because the AT&T store kept my OLD sim card and my new sim card is in my OLD phone. So pretty much i can't go online with this phone. I want to punch someone. oh and i'm chatting with an AT&T rep and would love to pull him out of the screen and have him do this friggin phone thing. fuckers.

I hate phone issues.


I need something to get my head out of the grumps. Alright let's think of positive things.....

  • I do like my new phone. it's a Samsung Galaxy II and it really does take pretty pictures. Plus i personalized it already and it's growing on me.
  • I got my hair did on Saturday. I had a livingsocial deal for just the roots, but she offered to do my whole head for only 10 bucks more. She was so sweet and I felt like we really connected. I felt very pretty after my appointment. I think i'll be going to see her in the future.
  • My friend came with me on my Bella walk and we also went to brunch. It was quite nice.
  • i am wearing my new black glittery ballet flats. 
  • i ate well within my calorie limit! 
  • I watched "Girls", not sure why i like this show, but i do. 
  • I almost got to video chat with my mom....but it didn't happen due to gmail issues.
  •  yay the weekend is over?
Anywho, i'm not very exciting today. I may come back and say some more later, but i'm swamped. Have a great day y'all.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Ready for 5 o'clock

Ok before I begin, my mother has told me that it's been a bitch to post comments on my blog. I'm not sure if this is the same for anyone else. I tested it myself, but it worked. I am not sure how to fix it, i checked my settings and i have it open to anyone who wants to comment. :( I'll keep writing anyway. I changed the comments to a full page and i've added my email link, so I hope it works, y'all. If i've been missing comments because of this, i'm a gonna be mad, well sad really.

Hi all! We've made it through the week. Phew. Took a while didn't it? It really wasn't such a bad week. I can't really remember if i complained...shrug. Let's all be thankful it's Friday!

Random things I'd like to say to designers:
  • Why would you charge 70 bucks for sandals? Have you noticed that there is leather missing from the shoe? That it doesn't cover a foot in it's entirety? What exactly costs $70 bucks when you're buying a sandal? Also, for those shoezazzle and sole society sites, 40-50 bucks for a sandal is a rip off too.  I'll wait for winter when i want to rip you off and get some BOOTS.
  •  Speaking of shoes....these are the ugliest things I have ever seen

 Do you want to read something scary. I found this article on lifescript and seriously got SCARED! NO not scarred, but SCARED. This article is for (I think) people who have SEVERE back problems. I wouldn't do any of the things mentioned with chronic pain. 9 New Ways to Relieve back pain. I think if you're going to try a horse tranquilizer or methadone to relieve your back pain you must be at the end of your wits. Seriously, very very scary article. I really was surprised that someone wrote this article and got it published. This world is filled with hypochondriacs and people who want quick fixes. (trust me, i know) I think it's an irresponsible article and a doctor (or several) can tell you what you really need.

I WILL NEVER BUY ALMONDS AGAIN!!! My first lesson at the farmer's market. flavored nuts are addicting. AND I KNEW IT!!! but they talk you into buying them, a BIG bag of them. So I do....because i know they'll be tasty and it's a healthy snack. And i know i'm normally a strong person....but this is my kryptonite. I've hidden them behind some files on my desk, so i can't reach over and taste the sweet buttery toffee coating on the crunchy I'm tempted to share with the office, but my gollum comes out and i'm like
"AHHH my precious Buttery Toffee Almond yum yums!"

Ok on another random topic...I have to share the following gollum pics on Google with you. These are two funny. 
 haha..ok it's not a morph, but i'm hoping Gollum tackles Rebecca Black and makes her go back to school. 

Alright all...this weekend my finger puppets and i will be creating ART. Can you feel the excitement? Have a great weekend!

Thursday, June 14, 2012

So I set the world on FIIIIRE!!!

Tell me "We are Young" is not a good song and I'll look at you like you're looney. It's catchy and it's actually a good song. For your viewing pleasure....

Yesterday I had a meltdown at work. In my head mostly and via email with one of the ladies here....My glasses were missing. I thought someone accidentally took them. (Notice I didn't say someone stole them. Who steals glasses???) My boss and I looked all over my desk, cabinets, files, behind the desk behind the files and everywhere else we could possibly think I had been. I checked my car; that area between the passenger seat and the door where you find everything, in my center console, on the floor etc.... still nothing. My head started reeling....This was my thought process:
Oh no I have to spend 500 bucks on my glasses. 
they won't be covered because I got these last year.
I'll have to charge my glasses to a credit card. 
I'm trying to pay off my credit cards.
It will take forever to pay off my credit cards.
I'll have to wait even longer to buy a house. 
I don't think the pressure of buying a house is affecting me....not at all....
AND I am NOT no way...nope...

Hey GIANTS!!! Congrats on last nights game!!! Wish that was the night we went to see that amazingnessssss. I gotta start watching the games at night, because really I am a huge fan of baseball. Congrats Matt Cain!

So this morning the commute around Oakland is at a standstill. There was a fire in a Bart Station or something, so the WHOLE bay area is feeling the pain. Golden Gate Bridge, Richmond Bridge and the Bay Bridge are all clogged up. 

Things I wish i was doing this weekend with Gerr, but he's got an out of town 
  • Northern California Pirate Festival. AYE captain! I could wear my Wench costume. 
  • North Beach Festival....dammit....(clenching my jaw, because I love North beach)
  • Golden Gate Film Festival-featuring Vertigo!!!
What I will probably be doing while Gerr is away....
  • Sleeping in late, going to bed late.
  • reading
  • watching too much TV
  • hanging out with some ladies, who probably just want to stay local. 
  • more sleeping?
  • playing with Bella of course, i shouldn't even have to mention it. 
Tonight is Taco night and Farmer's Market.
Hope you all have a lovely evening.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


smells good doesn't it? yes it do. Here's some stuff...

Ballpark rape.
Dearest AT&T Park: I went to see the Giants play yesterday (and yes they kicked Houston's butt) and i would like to say that your food is OVER FRIGGIN priced (not cursing so loud because my mother reads this blog). I paid $5 for a water. FIVE DOLLARS! I didn't see ONE water fountain....Also hot chocolate $5.75??? And the prices just keep going up depending what tasty morsel you want to try. So, you're probably thinking "jacky just bring your own food ok!" Well OK, we did. BUT WEEEEE didn't sit next to eachother, so the first 2 innings of the game Gerry and I were scrambling with another couple to get the chicken, the potato salad, the this, the that...until I just felt like I'd rather go hungry or spend 10 bucks on a hot dog-which i didn't. I just ate tomatoes and cold chicken wings (closest things to me). Going forward I will just bring my own personal sandwich, chips and water in a lunch bag...with my name on it. Easiest way to go.
By the way AT&T park people...are the prices so high because you want to make sure you cover the free bratwurst?  which by the way, after reading the article sounds like a major pain in the butt.

I do 10 things at once? why is that??? currently reading the Beginner's Guide to Homeowner's insurance. if you have anything to add or teach me, please do...just research at this point.

pet peeve-  when people make smiley faces like this -   (: How is that a smiley face...that's a unibrow over the eyes.... smiley face is like this :) we read from right to left.  eyes first, smile second.

this is all i can write today...sorry...i'll write tomorrow..

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

A donut sounds tasty, don't it?

It does. I'm not eating one, I wish i was. DOOOOHNUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The sentences above almost read I wish i was a donut...

This heat wave (which ends tomorrow I guess?) is making me tired; waking up was difficult. My eyes kept closing on me, so I sat up and quickly realized i had a kink in my neck. super GRRRR. I knew when i did it too. Normally most people wake up and realize they have a kink, but I remember doing it. I remember shifting my head so far to the right that I over pulled it and thought to myself "ouch, I'm going to wake up with a kink in my neck.". Here I am all kinky.

I wish we had the following at work:
  • A masseuse. It's kind of self explanatory, i have a kink and need a massage. It would be nice to get a massage on our mandatory 10 minute breaks. Think happier employees, who would love to come to work EVERY day!!! Everyone would be more relaxed and happy. Like the Smurfs. 
  •  Baristas. I feel like there is either not enough coffee made in a day or too much leftover at the end of the day. Cut the cost by hiring a barista to make everything as needed. Except for the coffee of course, but that Barista will know he/she can make ICED coffee with it. Seems like there are many strengths of coffee depending on where you are at my work. Barista's would eliminate the inconsistency. 
  • Cubicles with doors and temperature control-Here it's like a battle of cold and hot. I want my own controls, my own weather in my own space! oooh, like if it's so friggin hot out, i have a mister (not a man, but like a MISTer) in my cubicle (i would have a cover for any electrical stuff or paper stuff)...
  • A kitten room-or puppy room, or a fish room for those people who are allergic to the other two. It's scientifically proven that animals de-stress people. Playing with a bunch of kittens or puppies for 10 minutes or so get's you out of your seat, in a better mood and want to go back to work. Also, this would help a lot of shelters in the area who are commonly over stuffed with animals. Companies could assist and even allow people to come visit and help get the animals adopted. (ooh i'm thinkin here!!! I haven't fully woken up yet either!)


I don't think many of the above things will happen, (unless you work at yahoo or google, and if either of you companies steal my kitten/puppy room idea without giving me any credit, I will be super mad and never talk to you again).
Things I love at my work
  •  Candy-need some sugar? We've got these fake blowpops that are amazing. We also have those small snickers bars and the such. Helps with the chocolate cravings. 
  • Yummy lunches by our "chef"-we are a garbage company, but we host some events and we have a chef and some cooks. The food is delicious!!! Sometimes we get some goodies from the parties they have and sometimes we're even invited to them!!! 
  • Animals....-we have pigs and peacocks, ducks and chickens. nothing you can actually pet. The peacocks are trouble makers. Warning do not park your black car anywhere near them. They like to have battles against your car. Black on a sunny day makes a great mirror. 
  • More lunches-our boss gets us all lunch like once a month....sometimes i think they're trying to fatten me up.
 Not sure where this post even came from. but there it is. It all started with a yearning for a donut....which i never got. I think i'll eat my oatmeal now. Have a great day!!!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Whatever happened to drive-ins?

There still are some drive-ins lingering about, but for the most part they're extinct. It really is a treat though to go to a drive in movie and sit in your car which has major boom boom and feel your seat rumble with bass when the cool explosions happen. Some of my friends and I had that experience this weekend when we saw "Back to the Future". It was shown not on a screen but on a WALL of an old movie theater. It was great. Next time though, we're doing what the kids next to us did-ordering pizza! because that was awesome. Also, because i knew about it through and i let them know-I got free popcorn, water and a candy bar! :) super yay me. Gerr bought ONE ticket and he won the raffle!!! It was great.
Our weekend was also spent at the Haight St fair with some friends of ours. It was a gorgeous day to be in the city.  Music, teriyaki chicken skewers, cool handmade crafts, yummy strawberry lemonade, naked old guy with some type of sign covering his private area-but not his saggy bottom, music, yummy red velvet cupcakes, cool jewelry, lots of cool deals. I had a great time! On warm days, SF is definitely the place to be, there's a lot to explore outdoors.
my house is sold. And the pictures fooled me. fuckers. Why would they do that to people??? I guess maybe it's not finalized or whatever, but take the listing off or say SALE PENDING. That would be friggin nice. I saw some other properties that sound too good to be true...but whatever, i'll check them out next weekend. 
I think next weekend is when i'll have finger puppet photography time. Some new additions include a mannequin hand, guitars, skateboards and a hard hat. Should be fun.

Alrighty all, have a fabulous day. Goobers.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Hey there Friday....smooches...

ooooh me some fridays!!! and the weeeeeekend!!!
Random ideas of things to do:Taco party! Haight St Fair! Napping! Food Trucks! Movies at a theatre! Movies outside in a field! Food shopping! more sleeping! relaxing in the sun! Dancing on Treasure Island! Possibilities are endlessssss.....


i need a nap. I wrote the above like 2 hours ago and then got bombarded with stuffs.  My head is cocked to the right side and slowly approaching the desk. I want a nap. I'm also hungry, but i have 19 minutes until I can eat my lunch.

I really don't have very much to say. Woke up a half an hour early for an appointment and I'm mentally feeling like jello. YAWWWWN.

cute things that yawn. besides me:
pitbull puppies (ok any puppy)
Reminder Goals are really important. My goal before I left the house last night to go to our neighborhood Farmer's Market was to buy something "interesting."  There are a lot of vendors that were selling jewelry, tibetan neato thingamajigs, clothing, etc...My eyes went to a basket of finger puppets. I found my "goal". Stay tuned for a new picture on my blog featuring my new pals. Small goals can leave you feeling complete, so remember that when you're feeling low. 

still not awake. so i'm leaving you with this mess of a post. Enjoy your weekend. Maybe i'll come back and say something cool, but i doubt it. I need a coffee IV today. 

Thursday, June 7, 2012

I'm just a busy bumblebeeee....

(No i will not be talking about my dog and her love for eating bees. I wonder why she likes them though? they sting her everytime and i am pretty sure she is immune by now. Maybe when she eats one it's like pop rocks in her mouth?)

I've been bzzzzzzy. Very busy day! Fun, though...I like busy days...

I got wrapped up in looking at houses online yesterday. I found one that i want. I want it so bad, but i need it to go down about $30k. lol. I showed Gerr the house and some others and then he started looking and showing me what he liked.  We have different tastes for sure.

What is it with men and the whole it HAS to have a garage??? ok I get it, gear heads! But those are cool additions you can build if you find a cool enough house with enough room outside. To me it's not that important, it's kind of a bonus. Give me a driveway and some overhead cover thing.

I ask for things that you can't really get unless it comes with the house. Like a nice backyard. With trees.  A nice open space with a fence so that people can't look over and your dog can't climb over it....Such as my dream homes' backyard....

That right there is worth the friggin money. I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!

Sigh...we also have a difference in ideas of what we can afford.  He feels we can afford three times as much as we're paying right now. I think he's on crack. Add maybe 550 bucks to what we're paying right now and that's my friggin limit. He wants SPACE! square feet! acres! (more crack maybe?)! So maybe he thinks we should buy a mansion and have different wings? I believe he thinks we make a lot more money than we actually do. This is when i like being the sane, logical person, with irrational fears.
I believe when you own a house, anything can happen. You have to be ready for ANYTHING (rat infestations, meteors, retirement) and EVERYTHING. You have to have a savings, enough credit cards to help you out (not maxed out credit cards but paid off credit cards), and no debt. I believe the house is your debt. It's a big purchase. But it's a special purchase, because your home becomes your own (and the banks) to play with!!! 
Ok..i'm going to pray that no one buys this house for like a year. I'm watching by this weekend. i want to touch preshhhhhhhious. 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


Every time I think about buying a house next year, I get a mini panic attack. I'm kind of excited, kind of nervous, definitely scared and worried that it's not going to happen at all. My arms start to ache, my heart beat quickens and i feel like i'm going to poop in my pants. It's not even next year and i haven't fully paid my credit card off yet and sometimes it feels like it's all so far away. sometimes i have to convince myself that i'm worth it. I should have my own little house. I should have roots for the first time ever.

I didn't grow up in a house. I never had a house that we owned. We lived in NY; everything was rent, rent, rent. I didn't understand that people could own their homes, until i moved to Cambridge, MA. I think everyone owned their own home there.

Well my dream and doable goal is to buy a house next year. I live in California and the houses are expensive, but people do it and I think I can too. I know what I want and I pray i can find it without moving too far from where we are now. I want a big backyard and a nice kitchen. I can deal with the rest. We can fix up a bathroom or a bedroom, paint the outside...but those are my two main requirements. I want to plant a garden, have a mini agility course, some grass so that i can lay around with my pup, friends etc and a cool place to BBQ. I want Bella to feel free in the backyard and be able to play catch. The kitchen I want to be big. I want counters. I just want space!!! I ask of course that everything I cannot see like strange fungii, bugs, foundation stuffs are in good shape and nothing is eating at my house.

I love thinking about the backyard. The thought makes me happy. I don't like thinking about the nerves, stress and crying bouts I'm going to have when i find something and it doesn't go my way...I have to remember to ask my doctor for large amounts of valium during this period.

So you're probably wondering (or maybe not) about Gerr. Well he's going to stay with me, but the house will be mine, because I will be buying it. He doesn't seem too interested in buying it together (which makes me super nervous if he wanted to), I think he likes spending his money on the dune buggy and his business. That's fine, give me the house. I want it! I don't want to rent anymore! I want a large space and to make holes in the walls and be like "hehehe, that's mine".

One more year and I can start looking. So strange, but yet I know I deserve a gift that big. I've worked so hard in so many ways. I can only hope and pray that my depression, manic bipolar disorder, anxiety and fybro cooperate with me. Hence the valium.

the front yard's a bit too big!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Father's Day is Awkward.

I have a father; we all do or at the very least a sperm donor. We recently (a couple of years ago) "reuinited" via the internet. He sends me cards and i try not to forget to send him cards, but i do and that's because I'm not used to it so you or he can't blame me. He and I have a strange history of meets and dumps, so for me this situation is all awkward. Buying a card for father's day was difficult, I can't believe i even remembered, thank you Walgreen's for all the reminders around your store.

Now choosing a card for your "father" who hasn't been around most of your life and has come and gone like the weather in the Bay Area (if you don't know, it feels like fall one day, summer the next, rain the next day etc.) proves to be a hard task. I picked a card up and it said "Thanks for always being there Dad" i quickly put that one down. "Dad you're #1", put that one down too. "Love you dad, you're the best dad ever!" put that one down as well. I got pretty frustrated and my anxiety was increasing. I wanted out of the store. After looking at all the cards,  I finally found a simple "happy father's day" card and my growing anxiety disappeared. That's all he gets and that's all I need to send him.

Have you looked at the categories under the Father's day cards? They have "Like a father to me", I'm guessing this is for girls like me who grew up without a dad, but found someone equally as important instead. I am too stubborn, I didn't allow anyone to take that slot. It was empty and i was/am gonna run with it. They should have cards for those women that had to fill both roles. I gave my mom father's day cards for a while, because i hated the reminder that I didn't have a dad.

So in truth Father's day is very, very awkward for me. I'll text him and say Happy Father's day, but I'll also call my mom and thank her for being the best mother in the world. She did a good job.

I don't have a case of the Mondays....

Because it's Tuesday, but i feel overemotional and weepy, tired and would really like to curl into a little ball and watch chick flicks all day. No, i'm not on the rag nor am I PMS-ing. This is when i realize I am normal. When I don't just have good days, but i have sentimental or emotional days. So i'll appreciate it, because that's what being alive and human is all about...
Now let's figure out why I may be over emotional...(lol)
  • Venus will be passing over the sun and we can see it. Western Hemisphere-that's us, we'll be able to see it in the remember to use some safety equipment to view it. It will only look like a freckle. Rare things (this only happens every 105 years, so I better see people looking at the friggin sun tonight) cause rare behaviors or
  • The fact that Gov Jerry Brown is a dick. (i'm very sensitive right now, so yeah he's a dick) Dude wants to limit the time animals stay at shelters to save money....from days to hours. STOP this crazy shit. .
  • In a month it's the anniversary of my boyfriends' mother's passing. I'm already feeling very sad about it. 
  • I want stuff. lots of and stuff....I need a bigger bank account. 
  • Counting calories. Last night i needed something sweet after dinner, so i had peanut butter on toast. The bread 90 calories, the peanut butter 190!!! WHAT???? I thought peanut butter was good for you???? ARGH!!! Well look at what was in my inbox this morning: Women's Health 78 ways to cut fat calories. Interesting article and definitely woke me up to a few things. ok...feeling a little better now. Woke me up a bit. it's time to start incorporating some ground turkey into my diet.  Check out the link, really not so bad. But one thing I will never do is substitute cottage cheese for ricotta. Not a fan. no no no.
  • i almost choked on a banana. ouch.
  • I'm blessed with some really awesome lady doesn't have to be a bad thing to make me emotional...Yesterday i talked to three very special friends. I realized today how lucky i was that these ladies even think of me or talk to me. truly blessed. 
  • hey i'm feeling lol. score....
I want to share dinner last night...I thought it was scrumptious. yum. I fried some chicken thighs in olive oil, added some diced onions and garlic after the skin on the chicken was crispy. Cooked the onions until half way soft, dumped one whole package of white mushrooms cooked for about 3 minutes and added chicken stock. Covered for about 10-15 minutes.Removed the chicken,  dissolved a tablespoon or two of flour in a small cup of water and then added it to my mushroom sauce. A couple of tablespoons of parmesan cheese and about a cup of half and half. put my chicken in after i stirred and covered on low for a while. Serve over pasta. I seasoned with garlic salt and pepper. Add whatever you like. It was very yummy and mushroomy.
My friends know i love to cook and lately i've been in the no cook zone, I blame the diet. But the above meal wasn't high super high in calories. I didn't use butter or heavy cream like some of the recipes online asked for in this dish. Small portions help too. Chicken stock is a good way to get a lot of flavor in your food without too much fat.
So what's for dinner tonight? I'm thinking Risotto with spinach and baked chicken. I thought Risotto would be higher in cals, but it's not...woot woot.

Food makes me super happy so I want to give you links of yummy food ideas from some of the blogs i follow because these people make super delicious food....which reminds me the first one uses Nutella. I need to get some of that....

wow normally there are more foods on my reader list!! oh well...these are the ones that got my attention. 
Hopefully tomorrow I don't talk about food. haha. Have a good evening and remember to visit my friends etsy shop! HERE!!!!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Counting Calories Sucks.

I haven't been doing it for very long, but I'm using this to help me lose ten pounds. Now let me tell you about this TEN pounds. It's not really ten pounds, it's really like 5-7. Why did i say ten, well because my stupid body fluctuates 2-5 lbs every friggin month and ten pounds sounds like a real diet, not like I'm some silly girl trying to lose 5 pounds. Why is it so hard for my body to get in the 130's realm. Why??? Do you even know how frustrating it is? It's been like 5 or 6 years of working out to try and get to 135. It's a healthy weight for me, not that i'm unhealthy now, but come on it's 5-7 lbs difference. 

When I injured myself a couple of months ago-oh my god that was in January, holy shit on a shingle-I had to stop doing yoga, and then I was in pain all over the place and i was diagnosed with Fybromyalgia-oh the joy. I finally found a medication that helps me relax on a daily basis and the pain isn't so bad, but i'm still fearing yoga and hiking; pretty much everything i have loved to do for the last 5 years.  So I figured if i can't exercise, then i need to eat better and less in order to lose the weight that i've been praying for to disappear from my body and finally started counting calories.

The app is really easy to use and you input your exercise, water consumption etc. I lost 5 lbs, gained two back-i blame the weekend. Hopefully this week I can still succeed at losing 1 whole pound. But do you know why counting calories really sucks??? Because when  you do exercise, such as walking fast while walking the dog for 35 minutes burned 236 calories, well that 236 calories is now open for you to eat. Kind of freaks me out a little, because after entering my dinner last night, my total was like 900 calories. That is not good. Your dinner shouldn't equal half a days calories. Well, I need to watch that-but i would like to say is 240 calories was an avocado and remember that's good fat and not bad fat. sigh...ok i need to stop here...But see what i mean counting calories it's crrrrazy. I hope that i can keep this up though, because there is some truth in calorie counting, besides creating insane people who weigh their food everywhere they go.
image from
the great fitness exchange

I think i'm going through a what-the-fuck-crisis. Like what the fuck??? lol. Where am I? Holy crap I'm 35!? I don't wanna be 35. I want to be 30, for the rest of my life. I don't want to age. What am i doing with my life? Will I ever do anything substantial to help anyone?? What will i be remembered for? So what facial stuffs work so I won't wrinkle? What about firming lotions, does that firm like every inch of your body so you never ever sag or wrinkle??? ACK, stop all of this and let me do something with my life that will at the very least be good.
image from here.
Well, i still have to figure all that out. What does the above picture have to do with any of this?? Unsure, but it makes me happy.

I would like to promote my friends Etsy shop, Treasures from the Alamo basement. She's an awesome chica and one of my closest friends. She's uber talented and is posting a lot of items to her store. The following items I love, so if you want to get me out of my funk please by me one! :)

mmm James Dean....yummy....
Alright pork and beans, I must bid you adieu. See you on the flipside!!!

Friday, June 1, 2012

June 1st? damn

the year is half over...what the heck??? Where is my two month summer vacation!!?? BLAH. to be a kid again....

I take Bella out every day after work, even when my body isn't feeling up to it. Lately the fragrances from the flowers around town are exploding and I get dizzy with all the scents and I smile. I smile because it smells so good and reminds me of a field of flowers and when i bring myself back to reality i realize I'm walking down a street with warehouses and concrete buildings.  I have no idea what it smelled like on "Little house on the Prairie" (probably poop from the horses), but this is what i think it smells like when they're running down the hill at the end of the show. So come on summer, I guess we're ready for you.

YAWN. I want coffee. or do I  not want coffee....So indecisive. 

Yesterday, the boys were fixing a friends car and we had to go to O'reilly auto parts (used to be Kragen) and this guy asks the lady at the counter, "What will take off corrosion?" The girl responds, "A wire brush." Gerr says "Baking Soda works", the guy responds "I've also used urine before." Made me blink twice and i instantly imagined a dude pissing on his battery. Gross. But funny mental image. In my head he has a cigar in his mouth and sorta looks like Randy Quaid.
Pic from Hollywood News
I'm so cool. i didn't buy anything from Ideeli(i still love and promote Ideeli and Hautelook, just need  a break from shopping! yeah right). i had stuff in my basket and everything. come on internet people be proud.

Cool lifescript article-yoga for your lower back. I'll keep this here for myself and others. I wouldn't really be myself I didn't show you stuff around and about on the web, right?

I realized i do want coffee, but the creamer is in the fridge and there's a stupid meeting in there...
ok got my coffee!! you must be so happy for me!
  shit...hautelook...damn you...someone help...

And in the blink of an eye, our yard sale is cancelled due to one of our neighbors who is going away for the weekend. can't find a spot for his car....or something...even though we all offered ideas. oh well....more time to figure out what we're gonna sell. Ok now the yard sale is back on...I'm so confused. All i know is that i have clothes, dishes, shoes and a blender to sell. I probably won't make much money, but that's what i got.  Why is it that everything always has to be so dramatic? People if you don't want to move your car say so! It's your spot and I totally understand, but this back and forth tennis crap like saying Ok one day and then another day saying something else is just stupid.

Today is free Krispy Creme donut day. Everybody calm down. Exit in an orderly fashion. Please do not run or speed full throttle to your nearest Krispy Creme donut shop. If they run out of donuts just wait patiently and google for another donut shop nearby. 
 So someone at my work recently complained to me that they hated when they asked one person one thing and then asked another person the same question because they wanted a different answer. Said they hated it. They just did it to me. Kind of hypocritical huh? Why why why do people do this????

UHM YUCK!!??? WHAT??? Man Admits he ate missing roommates heart and brain. what??? really?? why the hell would you admit to something like that?? Are the zombies coming? geez. where's my private island?

I may come back. just a busy little bunny rabbit right now.
meow and talk to you later.