arm pain. and work pain. i did have a massage last night, but i easily got tensed up when i realized my house was a mess, the dishes are toppling over in the sink, and the clean clothes are in the basket. Gerry has been sick this week, but come on!!! Women take care of babies when they're sick, clean the house etc.... I am in constant pain every fucking day and i cannot handle doing everything myself. I think this blog may just be a vent. i think i need to hire someone to clean my house too. I just cannot do it, I walk Bella and lucky for me she and I have relaxing walks.
let me tell you something that happened this AM. I had to wake up early because i had an early appointment before work. i got out of the shower and i could hear Bella get off the bed and out of the bedroom. I am putting on my makeup and yes people no clothes on. I hear Gerry coughing, his phone rings or something and yet i do not hear him walking towards the door to let Bella out. Our dog has a UTI. The poor thing has to go out but if I wasn't there would have to wait for his ass to get out of bed? poor dog. I get out of the bathroom put pants on and i have my bra on and notice that Gerry is on the couch doing something with his phone and i ask if he let Bella out, "No." WTF? i walk over to the front door, NO SHIRT and open the door. I feed Bella, give her meds to her, and finish getting ready. HE didn't do anything!
When we were first noticing that Bella was going pee around the house, he would spray some stupid spray on her pee and leave it. WE HAVE A STEAM CLEANER!!! in the height of my pain, it was sooooo much worse than, I did it. WHY???? Because I care! Who cleaned the sofa when she almost peed on him (why didn't she?) yes people me. We have this whole battle of if anything happens who gets Bella. Every one of our friends knows I am her owner. I am the one who tends to her. He can't even clean a pee stain properly. Yes, i'm pissed off. very. I'm pissed because when I'm sick no one dawdles over me. I get off my ass and do the shit i need to do. and i get it, he's not feeling well so he's off but he can't skimp out on the home stuff he's getting off his ass and going to work.
oh and work. ...well i don't even know what to say about that except if you're going to attempt to give me a project that you can't explain properly or know the answers to or are confused of how to do it in the first place don't give me the project. Stress is hurting me physically right now. and that's not fair. find out how it needs to be done. Balance it and then show me how you came up with it. because the easiest stuff that i'm doing isn't coming out with anything close. blah.
I'm also upset at these doctors. no shot. it may make me paralyzed or some bull crap. Athletes get these all the time, what makes me different? Besides physical therapy what's the next solution? so far, nothing. i haven't heard what's next and let me tell you something, I'm not going to be waiting three months for them to realize it's not working or it's taking too long. I'd rather have a nerve block or surgery to get rid of the damn nerve. ugh. just so annoyed. I want to go home. I don't want to pay 5 bucks (yup that's how much it costs for me to see a doc) for nothing. Hope this day ends soon.